


Color Me Confused

by CanisConstellation



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Marlene McKinnon, Confused Sirius, Crush at First Sight, Ficlet, Finding sexuality and gender, LGBTQIA+, Lesbian Dorcas, Marauders' Era, Might continue see story notes, Multi, Pansexual Gideon Prewett, Pansexual Remus Lupin, Polysexual Fabian, Wolfstar prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2018-10-30 17:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10881963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanisConstellation/pseuds/CanisConstellation
Summary: University Chairman's Sirius Black is well known for getting in trouble with hair care product millionaire son's James Potter. After a smoke bomb prank does not go as smoothly as planned, a rainbow colored Sirius stumbles into an LGBTQIA+ Meeting led by astrophysics major Remus Lupin. The question of whether Sirius is there for the meeting or not is suddenly much harder to answer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [No title](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/289839) by siriuslysarcasticremus. 



> I got this au idea from siriuslysarcasticremus on tumblr in the wolfstar tag, and I have been role playing it for several days now. introvert-club on tumblr does a weekly prompt so I decided to go off of my current writing and submit this. I dont know if Ill make a story out of it or not honestly, it's been a long time.

Every smoke bomb was in place. Sirius glanced across the expanse of the cafeteria at James, standing at the only set of doors in or out of the place. In order for the handmade remote to work at all, one of them had to be close to the bombs. As soon as they exploded Sirius needed to make a break for it, considering he was the faster of the pair. A nod, the signal. One. Two. Three. Sirius counted in his head, hitting the button. 

There was that moment of stall before clouds of color exploded around those eating in the cafeteria. Slipping the remote into his pocket and bolting in an instant, Sirius danced through the rainbow array of smoke bombs in order to avoid the chaos of students, grinning at the screams of confusion and even some laughs of excitement that followed their prank. Sirius burst through the cafeteria doors and saw security heading straight for him, causing him to pivot on one foot and begin racing in the other direction.

 

"Sirius Black, if I find out you had anything to do with this… Not even your precious daddy can do anything about it!" The head security guard shouted, obviously winded and unable to match Sirius’ athleticism. Filch was chasing after him at a much slower pace than Sirius’ soccer trained limbs carried him. The bigger problem was his new, younger protege, who was catching up at a rate that steadily became worrisome 

"James, we might have a problem here." Sirius huffed through the Bluetooth earpiece, glancing behind him and trying to sprint faster. "Turns out Anderson is faster than we anticipated." 

 

"Try to duck into a classroom, lose their line of sight." James suggested, having already made it through the clear without someone chasing him. 

 

Sirius rounded one corner and then the next, watching the placement of ceiling cameras and finally choosing a classroom by the stairs that was not totally visible. Covered head to toe in colors of the rainbow, Sirius opened the door and ran inside, slamming it shut behind him and facing the frosted window to watch as moments later a dark shape ran past signaling that he was safe.

“Remus think about it this way, maybe if you bone a hot guy you’ll be less stressed. You’re on a dry spell mate, it’s not healthy. Not half bad looking either mate, if you ever want to find out what taking a ride on the Giddy Machine is like-,” A freckled ginger suggested with a wink, his expression filled with deep, sincere concern. 

A light haired brunette was quick to interrupt him. “I’ve already had one twin, I’d rather not make a pair out of it.” He returned in a dry tone, looking up at the sudden intrusion on their meeting. “Can I help you?” 

Sirius jumped and turned with wide eyes as a voice sounded behind him, observing a circle of people who appeared to be in a meeting. "Help me? Er, am I in the right place?" Sirius asked, knowing small dustings of color were falling to the floor every time he moved. He could at least try to act like he was not on the run. Sirius’ eyes roamed among the group of people sitting together, recognizing the school slag Gideon Prewett, the pair of lesbians Marlene and Dorcas, and a couple other kids in his class he didn't know the name of. Gideon was famous for his shameless escapades, Marlene and Dorcas were proudly open about their relationship. Sirius admired the trio’s fearlessness despite never having talked directly to any of them. 

“I don’t know, are you? This is the weekly meeting for all LGBTQIA+ students on campus.” Remus eyed Sirius warily, unsure of what the soccer star Sirius Black was doing coming to a meeting like this. "I take it you aren't supposed to be here?"

 

Gideon was slack-jawed. Despite the fact that he was covered in rainbow dust from head to toe, this boy was beyond gorgeous. Right as Sirius was about to answer, Gideon Prewett spoke up, “Make my day hot stuff, please be just a little curious.” Sirius felt a little taken aback by his directness. Gay? Him? 

Sirius' attention finally focused on the cold guy who had first spoken, eyes widening as he really saw him for the first time. Whoever this stranger was, he was more beautiful than Sirius thought was humanly possible. Sirius’ cheeks grew warm as his brain went static for a moment, completely lost for words. "I’m not ga-- y-yes. Yeah, I’m here for the meeting.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To really explain Sirius and his emotions I want to make it clear that as the story progresses you will get a deeper understanding of his sexuality and his past gay experiences. Right now he is really confused and it takes this one eye opening moment for him to realize he's been decieving himself for a while. That's kind of a lot to take in so lots of panic mode here.

Remus eyed their intruder with deep suspicion as the rainbow covered boy stumbled over his words, crossing his arms with a lukewarm smile. What was soccer star Sirius Black, best friend of lacrosse captain James Perfect Potter, doing at this meeting? He had seen first hand the number of girls James and Sirius worked their way through during all those basic classes they shared on campus. Instinct sent off a warning signal in his head, far from trusting the way Sirius looked at him like something out of a fairytale. One mistake was plenty for Remus. He knew by now boys that handsome were just trouble with a pretty face. “So, did you think dousing yourself in the orgasm of a rainbow would equate to better impressions at your first meeting?” 

Sirius seemed to realize again that he was still covered in colors, looking down at his body with mortification that he quickly hid. “I dunno, that depends on if it’s working. If yes, this was totally my evil master plan. If no, this was completely by accident and you can blame some atrocious pranksters in the cafeteria. Miscreants, they were.” Even in a flustered situation, Sirius managed to be a smart ass courtesy of eighteen years living with Walburga.

“I’d say you've thoroughly impressed me, d’you mind adding ginger to your rainbow?” Gideon looked thoroughly ready to pounce at any moment, flicking his fidget spinner like he thought it would entice Sirius to come over. 

“Down, boy.” Dorcas called, thumping him on the forehead and making him recoil into his seat. Whenever Gideon tried to prey on newcomers it was usually their job to keep him reined in. 

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and held off a sigh, realizing that yes, it was going to be one of those days. “Fantastic, we definitely need another comedian in our group. Take a seat then, we were discussing this month’s club outing. Before you ask, once a month we vote on a place to get together as friends and socialize in a safe number. Since it was Gideon’s twenty second birthday three days ago, we let him make the two choices and voted for a new gay bar that opened up on Briar Street. If you intend to stay with the club I suppose you’ll be invited. We’ve decided to go this Friday.” 

Sirius took a seat next to a boy named Lukaz and winced at the disappointment Gideon effectively showed, feeling a bit bad to have crushed the boy’s hopes at sitting down next to him. 

“Since we have a new club member, why don’t we do introductions of ourselves? Name, pronouns, hobbies. Talk about your sexuality if you're comfortable. We can make this a first day of school type deal, yeah?” Remus suggested, picking up a baton with sparkly ribbons on the ends. Dorcas bought it with the thought that it would be a good way to circulate conversation fairly. “My name is Remus Lupin and I use he/him pronouns. I’m interested in astrophysics and space in general, I'm a total wizard at croquet, I love to knit, and I have an affinity for making special recipe coffee.” The bronze haired boy handed the baton to Marlene next. 

“My name is Marlene McKinnon, I use she/her pronouns and I’m dating Dorcas if you could not tell. I love dying my hair, microbiology is my passion, and I play for the women’s soccer team. Right now I refer to myself as bisexual, but I’m also figuring a lot out and I realize my sexuality is fluid.” 

“Dorcas Meadowes, I use they or them. I love forensics and roleplaying in our lab coats with Marlene on kinky Tuesdays. I’m an unofficial bartender extraordinaire and I’m a nonbinary lesbian, I’ll leave it at that.” 

Sirius could not help but grin at the two people and their introductions, learning more about their community in two minutes than he had his entire high school career. He certainly had a lot of questions, but something about their personalities only reinforced his long held belief that Walburga’s ravings about the “filthy homosexuals and their transgenders” were complete and utter bullshit. Sirius remembered all the times he had to leave the room when the news worked her up, idly wondering how she would react to him sitting in this meeting. 

“Name’s Gideon, he pronouns but gender isn’t of personal importance to me in all honesty. Every human is beautiful, just like you sweetheart.” Sirius felt his cheeks color slightly as Gideon winked at him, unsure of what he felt toward this extensive attention. Certainly nothing he could put into words. “I’m working towards becoming a twelfth grade English teacher, since we’re sort of sharing our career interest here as well. I love reading old English Literature, playing Ultimate Frisbee, and taking grey eyed beauties on nice dates. I’m full of great pickup lines-- Wait, WAIT I’ve got one!” There was a fairly collective groan that traveled through the circle of members. “Sirius, are you from Tennessee? ‘Cause you’re the only TEN I see!” 

“Gideon no.” Dorcas reprimanded immediately, reaching into her bag to squirt him with perfume as punishment. “This is exactly why Molly tells me to look after you, think before you--,” 

“No I’ve got an even better one-- Dorcas I don’t want to smell like Twilight Woods dammit!-- okay let me do this.” Gideon’s eyes were sparkling as he fixed his attention onto Sirius once more. “I guess you could say… I’m real Sirius about you. You know what my shirt’s made of? Boyfriend material.”

“So I should date your shirt?” Sirius quipped, arching one eyebrow at the lively ginger. He was never one to begrudge someone their games.

Dorcas wrangled the baton from Gideon with quite a bit of struggle and handed it off to Frank next. “And… you’re done.”

“You’re quite the charmer, Gideon.” Sirius offered, scratching the back of his head nervously. After he had heard the other nine members the baton safely made its way back into Remus’ pack. 

“I guess that’ll be it for today, Sirius if you don't mind sticking around I’ll add you to the GroupMe and answer any questions you have.” Remus felt less prickly towards the boy now that he had seen how Sirius interacted with the others. Nevertheless, he remained guarded towards the soccer player’s furtive looks. 

As the others gathered their things and moved to leave Sirius found himself alone with Remus, plastering the winning smile across his face that scored big with James’ crowd. This guy, not so much. 

They exchanged numbers and Sirius was added to the group chat before Remus said anything else. “I won’t keep you long. I’m sure you need to go take a long shower after this. I know I said I would answer any questions you have, but honestly I have a question of my own. I wanted to wait until you weren’t under the pressure of the group, since they are overwhelming at the best of times. I’m sorry to say I was rudely skeptical of you, but I know how closeted some people can be and I should have taken that into account. What made you decide to finally stop by?” He asked, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the desk. “Did your rainbow explosion cause an epiphany?” His tone held more friendly humor in it than before. 

Sirius was faced with such a question much sooner than expected. It took a long time for him to come up with an answer, holy fuck this stranger had him all out of sorts. “I er, I really can't say. I’m new to this on so many levels you don’t even know. I have a lot of things I need to ask myself.” Sirius paused for a moment, sighing and looking down at his clasped hands. “Listen, I’m getting really itchy from this stuff but if I think of any questions I’ll text you for sure. I should probably get going though. Thanks for adding me onto the group and letting me join your club.” 

“Sure thing, but it isn't my club. It’s ours.” 

Once he was able to part ways with Remus, Sirius finally had time for his own thoughts. Really, what was he doing? After throwing one leg over his bike Sirius turned the key in the ignition, at least relieved that he had not been stopped along the way by Mr. Filch. Never before had he felt this way about anyone, let alone a guy. Or had he? He could admit once or twice, maybe he had taken a second glance at a boy before. With Remus it was definitely not love at first sight, such things were ridiculous, but he was certainly enraptured. Sirius wanted to get to know Remus, be able to spend time with him. The more he thought about it the more it gave him a headache.

A stoplight was the only thing that hindered his ride home, throwing his keys on the coffee table a mere fifteen minutes later. “Sirius where did you go? I thought you’d been caught!” Sirius looked up to see James sitting on the couch, a towel thrown over his bare shoulders from getting out of the shower. Reason A for his denial was sitting right in front of him. In their fifteen years of friendship James Potter was probably the straightest straight to have ever straighted. The boy had grown up with girls on his mind as soon as he figured out the birds and the bees, it was one of the few things James managed to be truly passionate about. Alcohol, girls, and surprisingly enough, engineering. Whereas Sirius struggled with his major in law, something he held zero passion towards, James excelled at the career of his choice with flying colors. It was difficult to stray from the mentality of someone you’ve spent more time with than your own family for so very long. 

“I got caught up in a classroom with the gay club for a bit, barely managed to escape from Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. That new guy is going to give us trouble.” Sirius decided there was no reason to lie, slipping out of his shoes at the door. “I learned a lot while I was there though, they’re really nice people. Got to talk to Marlene and Dorcas from English and they’re just as badass as we speculated. Probably good for coming up with pranks too.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling James all this, maybe to see how he would react. Definitely to see how he would react. 

James looked up from his pint of peach cobbler ice cream with a bit of surprise, licking his spoon thoughtfully. “Interesting… perhaps we should proposition them then. Go take a shower before you make the floor any dirtier. I just vacuumed! You can’t treat me like a maid, rich boy!” 

“Oi, quit nagging me! I don’t work all day just to come home and listen to you complain about doing one chore.” Sirius rolled his eyes at the messy haired douchebag that was his best friend, heading down the hallway and making sure as much color as possible fell from his clothes. James hated messes, but it pained him to actually lift a finger and clean for more than ten minutes. Turning the shower faucet on high, Sirius was relieved about James’ neutral reaction towards mentioning the club. “At least he didn't say anything negative.” Add talking to himself to the list of weird things today. 

Stepping under the heavy power of the shower head, Sirius let the water soak completely through his hair, leaning his forehead against the tile wall. The more he thought about the past, the more he realized that there were some things he had possibly chosen to avoid. Now it was impossible to acknowledge and impossible to ignore. Denial wasn’t just a river in Egypt. 

It was not as if Sirius had achieved some enlightenment on his sexuality. If anything the confusion and doubt that now plagued him only sought to disturb the boy’s naive peace. While he found himself suddenly so unsure and even a little afraid, the excitement caused by the thought of going out to a club with Remus seemed to outweigh this. Sirius wasn't blind or daft, he knew that Remus was wary of him. That did nothing to change the fact that he wanted to find out why. Hopefully time would tell, specifically this Friday.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I havent been around much but Im a freshman in college so these past few months have been wild. Any creative suggestions are welcome :)

Sirius analyzed his appearance with an unusual amount of scrutiny, turning this way and that in the mirror to view different angles. Of all the dates and outings he had been dragged along on with James, never had he prepared so meticulously as this. These were just about the tightest jeans he could find, but that was the style right? "What do you think?" Sirius asked, turning towards James with a nervous expression.

His friend was lounging across his bed eating a bag of soy nuts, looking mildly judgmental and mostly impatient. "I think your ass is about as desirable as it's going to get. If you don't get Remus' attention, you will at least get some other poor soul to trip after you." He commented, munching away and making a mess of Sirius' duvet. Noticing the glare he was given James swiped away the crumbs, sending them onto the floor.

"I expect you to vacuum this week you dick tit." Sirius griped, re-adjusting the cable knitted black and white cardigan over his t shirt. "I will not let you forget you called my ass desirable just so you know, dude."

"Shove off, go drool over your husband already so I can continue my nap. What's the rule about intruding on sleepy times?" James narrowed his eyes accusingly, tossing a soy nut at Sirius' butt.

"This was an emergency. Emergencies were the exception, remember? I had no one else to turn to." Sirius responded, feeling not at all like he was dressed appropriately for a gay club. Then again, what defined appropriate? At least he would be warm, it was rather cold out. Fall was coming for sure. "I need to head out soon, Marlene told me to come over at 6:30."

James shifted around until he was propped against the pillows, sealing his soy nuts and chucking them onto the bedside table. "Isn't that a little early? This is just clubbing right?"

"Maybe they don't like to stay out too late." Since Sirius had joined the group chat he had quickly befriended Marlene and Dorcas. Marlene had made a group with just the three of them in only two days, discussing past relationships and horror stories of college. He had been informed to arrive at 6:30, and he would not dare displease Marlene McKinnon.

It took only fifteen minutes to get to their complex, having to be buzzed in by a grouchy doorman who seemed less than pleased to have an evening visitor. When he knocked on the door Marlene answered within seconds, her freshly dyed platinum blonde hair perfectly wavy and complimenting her dark complexion. "Wow, I think I like this better than the pink." Sirius commented with a grin, walking over to the couch and taking a seat.

Dorcas came walking out of the bedroom in a partially zipped dress that worked wonders for her petite curves, turning so that Marlene would zip her up. "She's going for the Allura look apparently, I don't know if you watch that robot show thingy or not."

"Don't tell him that Dori!" Marlene protested, smacking Dorcas on the arse as if that would be punishment. There seemed to be a large fascination with that region of the body tonight, he silently mused. The jokes that ensued from her girlfriend proved that the effectiveness seemed debatable. "Shut up, I need you to help me with my makeup, remember?"

The girls headed to the backroom leaving Sirius wondering what the hell he was supposed to do. After a moment's debate he stood from the couch and walked down the hallway, faced with the option of four doors. And no clue which one to go to. He saw a light on in one which he assumed was the bathroom, and where Dorcas and Marlene surely were. Turning the knob he was met with a hot blast of shower steam, and the sight of Remus Lupin in his birthday suit. The boy turned towards him with an expectant expression, probably assuming it was Dorcas or Marlene until he realized it was Sirius Black.

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!" Sirius stumbled back with wide eyes, pale as a sheet while a bottle of lotion -- ooh Bath and Body Works Twilight Woods -- was chucked at his head. He barely ducked the flying object and slammed the door shut with a partially yelped apology, pivoting in the opposite direction and running towards his one salvation. An opened door where Dorcas and Marlene were peaking out curiously at the commotion.

"What just happened?" Marlene asked, wearing only half her eye makeup. It would have been comical in different circumstances.

"I... I saw Remus naked. Oh God I saw, I thought you guys were in there, dont you do makeup in the bathroom?!" Sirius felt mortified, particularly by the anger he had been met with.

"Well that's no way to soften him up, he's very particular about his body. Took forever for him to be comfortable swimming with us wearing no shirt." Dorcas tugged Sirius inside, setting him on the bed and turning on some music. Marlene was back in the seat in front of her dresser, Dorcas applying the base eyeshadow across her eyelid.

Sirius bent over with his face in his hands, now flushed crimson as he remembered just what all he saw. "He's hot!" He exclaimed with anguish, shaking his head.

"Did you ever have any doubts?" Dorcas scoffed, "Well, we invited you over early to give you guys a chance to bond, now look what you've done." Marlene noted, applying her own mascara with a matter o' fact expression he could only see reflected in the mirror.

"You could have said something! How fucked am I?" Sirius was interrupted by incessant banging on the bedroom door. Followed by Remus storming in with a towel wrapped around his torso like a spa visitor.

"Can someone please tell me why Sirius Black is in my house and barging in on me naked?" Remus griped, arms crossed over his chest. "Ah, the culprit in the flesh."

Sirius for once in his life shrank a bit under the overbearing weight of another person's gaze. "She did it. They did it. This is why I shouldn’t be left unattended."

"Next time you bring a stray into the house, keep a closer eye on it. And you, knock before entering." With that Remus whipped back around and walked out of the room, leaving Dorcas and Marlene snickering in his wake.

"He will get over himself, don't worry. He just woke up from a nap, afternoon sleep makes him cranky as hell." Dorcas assured him, styling her raven hair into a side braid skillfully woven with fake flowers.

With their initial plan failed, operation creamsicle -- named by Dorcas -- was underway. The girls left without telling Remus they were leaving, resulting in his role of driving their gay President. Surprisingly enough the studious Remus Lupin was total ass at driving, and had yet to receive a license. The car ride was one of awkward silence, by far the most profound discomfort Sirius speculated had ever occurred in his young life. The boy who made him question his sexuality just has to find his existence an insignificant blip to society.

"At least you listen to good music." Sirius arched one eyebrow at that, glancing over at Remus as he turned onto the strip. "Arctic Monkeys, that is."

"Even the bad guys can listen to good music." Sirius responded with a cheeky expression, turning into the parking lot of the club to find a space.

"I never said you were a bad guy." Remus protested, looking up from his phone. "I just... if you knew the pain some of the people in our group have experienced, you would understand my suspicions. You haven’t got the best rep in our school you know."

Sirius put his Volvo in park, unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping out of the car. "I pull pranks on some teachers here and there, I don't hurt anyone. I dont bully people. I think you’re clouded by stereotypes, think Im the rich playboy asshole. Im here because I'm as confused as anyone else. I thought these clubs were supposed to be a safe place of acceptance."

Remu pursed his lips at that, unable to argue with his statement. Maybe he was being a bit too harsh, but the resemblance of personality between Sirius and... Fabian was striking. The same charismatic personality, a knack for getting into trouble. He had fallen so quick for it the first time, but not again. "Forgive me, I did not intend to be unwelcoming. The others are waiting for us."

They entered the club with a blast of music and multicolored lights. It seemed like any other club, but the atmosphere was different. A greater sense of unity. People sang along happily to the music in large groups, alcohol prominent around the room. "There they are." Sirius pointed to their group over on the far wall, occupying a booth. Sliding in next to Marlene he took a shot off the tray, raising into the others who had joined them. There was 13 of them in all.

"Obviously this isn't everyone's scene, but it's nice to see the people who turned out tonight. You all can thank the birthday boy Gideon for our place of choosing." Remus downed the shot with a grimace, shaking his head a bit. "God dammit you guys just had to get the tequila."

"Oh cry me a river Lupin, at least tequila makes you less of a tight ass. Might come in handy for you tonight." Marlene winked at Sirius, who flushed bright pink. This was going to be a long evening.


End file.
